Just a Little Pinch
Disease alert! As I seem to spend more time sick than well in Taiwan, it didn't surprise me when my throat hurt. It would only hurt in the evenings when I wanted to sleep, and then was easily taken care of by an asprin, but by the third or fourth night I wondered. It seemed to stop when my ear suddenly plugged up, filled with fluid and was rather uncomfortable. Made the usual rounds, went to the doctor, was given fistfuls of meds to take for three days, and then presto change-o the next morning after finishing the ear infection meds, the throat pain returned.
Turns out I had tonsilitis again. Sadly, this time it had taken my voice with it, so I called off work and walked my way over to a clinic around the corner from my apartment. After being sick for a year, I feel that I have developed a pretty firm idea about what I like and do not like in a doctor. Things like sensitivity, compassion, caring, or even acknowledging one's presence are things I like. So when this doctor was completely silent, not making eye contact but fiddling around on his computer until he looked at me exasperatedly and gestured "What?" I figured I wouldn't be in for a special treat.
But who knew there'd be shots? Shots in the ass. Not fun. Over the office PA stereo system, Moon River was gently soothing me as the nurse led me back to a darkened area where a man was asleep, hooked up to an IV drip. She led me into a smaller room and started patting her butt (it sounds like the start of cheesy porn. There was this nurse...) which I didn't quite understand at first because all I knew was I was getting a shot. "Pigu," she said softly as it struck me. "You're gonna give me a shot in my pigu?!"
Anyway, as the nurse gave me the shot I looked around the room. I saw a lovely and enormous (it was about half the distance from the floor to the ceiling) velvet painting of a semi-nude blond western woman clutching a sheet to her crotch and her head thrown back in ecstacy. Velvet paintings in doctor's offices are really classy touches anyway, but this one...pure magic.
So as she motioned for me to rub my bum, the nurse slipped out the door, turning off the lights and closing the door behind her. I wasn't sure why she'd left me there, but clearly I had some ass-rubbin to do, and she didn't want to waste electricity on such pursuits. So I settled in to massaging my sore cheek and contemplating the artwork. Finally, about 8 minutes later when I felt pretty sure I had done some superior ass-rubbing and had begun to think how long I needed to be here, she reappeared looking like I was the biggest fool ever for having stayed in the room with the lights off. The fact that she had said not a word (side from pigu)to me in Chinese or English the entire time, and that she closed the door *behind* her (not something you do if you want someone to follow you) hadn't given me any indication I should leave. I mean, we walked through the hallway with the man lying on the cot with the lights off. Maybe it was energy saving technique. How was I to know?
Anyway, lesson learned: 30-40 secs of ass-rubbing time post-shot is probably all you need. Anymore just makes you look like a bit of a freak.
Turns out I had tonsilitis again. Sadly, this time it had taken my voice with it, so I called off work and walked my way over to a clinic around the corner from my apartment. After being sick for a year, I feel that I have developed a pretty firm idea about what I like and do not like in a doctor. Things like sensitivity, compassion, caring, or even acknowledging one's presence are things I like. So when this doctor was completely silent, not making eye contact but fiddling around on his computer until he looked at me exasperatedly and gestured "What?" I figured I wouldn't be in for a special treat.
But who knew there'd be shots? Shots in the ass. Not fun. Over the office PA stereo system, Moon River was gently soothing me as the nurse led me back to a darkened area where a man was asleep, hooked up to an IV drip. She led me into a smaller room and started patting her butt (it sounds like the start of cheesy porn. There was this nurse...) which I didn't quite understand at first because all I knew was I was getting a shot. "Pigu," she said softly as it struck me. "You're gonna give me a shot in my pigu?!"
Anyway, as the nurse gave me the shot I looked around the room. I saw a lovely and enormous (it was about half the distance from the floor to the ceiling) velvet painting of a semi-nude blond western woman clutching a sheet to her crotch and her head thrown back in ecstacy. Velvet paintings in doctor's offices are really classy touches anyway, but this one...pure magic.
So as she motioned for me to rub my bum, the nurse slipped out the door, turning off the lights and closing the door behind her. I wasn't sure why she'd left me there, but clearly I had some ass-rubbin to do, and she didn't want to waste electricity on such pursuits. So I settled in to massaging my sore cheek and contemplating the artwork. Finally, about 8 minutes later when I felt pretty sure I had done some superior ass-rubbing and had begun to think how long I needed to be here, she reappeared looking like I was the biggest fool ever for having stayed in the room with the lights off. The fact that she had said not a word (side from pigu)to me in Chinese or English the entire time, and that she closed the door *behind* her (not something you do if you want someone to follow you) hadn't given me any indication I should leave. I mean, we walked through the hallway with the man lying on the cot with the lights off. Maybe it was energy saving technique. How was I to know?
Anyway, lesson learned: 30-40 secs of ass-rubbing time post-shot is probably all you need. Anymore just makes you look like a bit of a freak.
posted by CJ at 9:33 PM
1 Comments:
(eric) I think anything over a minute of ass rubbing counts as foreplay.
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