Safe and Sound

My parents are officially insane, and, as much as they may claim that they are "too old" for some things, they apparently aren't too old to drive all night long from Toledo to Montreal, help me move when they get there, then nearly immediately afterward, volunteer we pile back into the car, grab dinner and drive back. Coo-coo, nutty, if you ask me. I repaid them with Smoked Meat Sandwiches. Thanks guys.

Moving Day

It's the final countdown now until moving times. My parents will be here in the morning and then it's last minute packing and moving boxes for a long time. I return to the motherland.

Holiday Horror

Mike DuBose's post about biting into a Chocolate chip cookie, only to find an Oatmeal Raisin, reminded me of a horrifying Thanksgiving moment.

While helping my mom with all the fixin's (which basically means I peeled potatoes, removed cranberry sauce from can and put food on the table) I was nibbling on the goodies, as you do. "Ooh! Walnuts!" My little brain thought as I popped one in my mouth on the way to the pantry. "This tastes weird," I said to myself while walking back to the kitchen. As I picked up the open container, I said "Mom, I think these nuts have gone off..." I trailed off as I saw it. Them, rather. The little buggies crawling all over the 10-year-old nuts. Possibly laying eggs, depositing disease, who the hell knows what those guys were up to, and me with a mouth full of nut pellets left over from the chewing. I ran to the bathroom, rinsed out my mouth and held back the holiday vomit, while my mom laughed at me. She wasn't so horrified at having eaten one herself, amazingly.

*Shudder* Here's to hoping Christmas won't be another unwitting episode of Fear Factor!

Missin' You...

I'm in the final countdown of dinners, shows, and frenzied packing now and in honor of my aborted mission in Montreal, I've compiled a brief list of things I'll miss about the city.

1) My friend Lea. She was my best friend in Taiwan, and it wasn't too hard to say goodbye there, if only because I knew I'd see her here. Not so this time.

2) My sweet ass apartment. I've got a fireplace in my room, people. A fireplace!

3) My neighbo(u)rhood. The shops, the restaurants, the bars, the cafes and *no* late-night cab fare. Fantastic!

4a) Oh the eye-candy. There are some beautiful people here.

4b) The confidence that comes from being checked out by hot guys every day. Damn, that'll be a hard one to give up!

5) My Star Trek lovin' roommates, Inna and Lea. We've bonded over many a' season.

6) The Smoked Meat. Lea said it best when she pointed out the real reason I'm here at all: Smoked Meat Sandwiches. Possibly better than bacon. Ok, wait. The pre-nostalgia got the better of me for a minute. *Nothing* is better than bacon! But this runs a very very close second.

7) Pain au chocolat. This category's a twofer. There's delicious French breads and pastries at every turn, but equally many chocolatiers with such exciting chocolates as The Bleu Cheese, the Curry, and the Lavender and Rose. Five beautiful chocolate gems I tried that day...

8) The Fashion. Because something tells me that my new leg-warmers won't be so well received in Ohio...

There's just so much to do and see here. It's a shame I've got to leave, but it's for the best.

In Dreams

They say that if you dream in a foreign language, you've really learned it. Last night I dreamt over and over about spending and/or mysteriously finding large Canadian bills...Does this mean I've really learned how to live in Canada? Luckily no one in my dream said "Paa-sta" or "Maa-zda." I'm not quite ready to adopt that part of Canada yet.

Sunday Night Improv

Ah, the joys of live comedy. When it's good, you laugh until you hear something snap inside. When it's bad...ouch (and not the good ouch of a rib broken from intense laughter). Lea, Chris, and I decided to check out this improv troupe at the Theatre Sainte Catherine. The highlights of the show included seeing Terry from the movie Fubar perform, and watching the three-week-running Champions defeated in a best of 3 hat game. It involved two improvers performing together, each with the goal of taking the other's hat off his head. The low points were the moments of near silence in the tiny theater, when I'd swear I saw tumbleweeds blowing through the aisle and Lea and I sat squirming uncomfortably at the embarassment of bad comedy. We talked about that feeling of fear for others performing, and how I can't even watch someone on TV entering an embarassing situation without changing the channel to something less stirring. Luckily, VH1 runs "I Love Yesterday Afternoon" near continuously to provide a brief moment of escape. All in all a great night.

"I'm Blogging This"

In an attempt to have a Last-Week-in-Montreal-Blowout/birthday party, I met Inna and her pals at a bar in the Plateau. Both she and Lea are celebrating their birthdays this weekend, so, so far so good with the rockin' out. Last night, we ended up at a hipster bar called Le Big Cheese for some dancing and tequila shots. At night's end, we'd found ourselves a couple of French-speaking gents. It was then that I heard the best pick-up line ever: "Where are you from? Ohio? Wow. It soundz so exotique," he slurred. Delivered without a hint of irony or sarcasm, it was fantastic! I gave him 5 points for originality, but his repeated suggestion: "Lez doo somezing" had to be turned down.

Happy Birthday Inna and Lea!

Back from a Break

I returned last night to Montreal from a visit home to hilly streets slicked with ice. I had to walk/skate uphill carrying a huge messenger bag and dragging a suitcase. Welcome back. You may or may not be familiar with my irrational fear of slipping on wet/icy inclines, and if you are you can imagine the horror, the near tears this particular situation reduced me to. Being off-balance, on ice, and on a hill? I nearly shat myself. After a frustrating hike to find two bus stops that weren't functioning due to construction, I hopped a cab and made my way back to the apartment. Phew.

Sadly though, this will be my last week in Montreal. The grand adventure has failed this time. Well, not so much failed as been called off due to (financial) rain (as opposed to freezing rain, that nearly has the same effect). I've got one last glorious week in Montreal and then I'm going back to Ohio.

So, I'm strapping on my ice skates and taking the town by storm, or at least as far as 100 USD will get me...