30 Days: Day 7

Looking back over past entries, I've noted how often I spend time by myself, and while I greatly enjoy my own company, sometimes I get lonely. In light of this, I decided I could use a partner in crime, so why not try to find one?

This led to new activity for Day 7: write a personal ad. Why the hell not? And if I meet a bunch of yahoos, then at least I'll have some good stories.

I'll keep you posted on the results.

30 days: Day 6

I tried my hand at bread-baking today. I went for the basic recipe, no bells or whistles. It seems to have turned out pretty well, with no obvious deformities or abnormalities. Next time I think I'll try something flashy like Chevre-Cracked Pepper.

No significant, life-altering discoveries were made while baking bread.

Reflections on Style

I've spent the last few months trying on different personas. I've hit a space where nothing is being planned or has been set into motion, and I'm trying to enjoy the freedom of it all. With that, it looks like grad school will have to wait a while, since I'm too busy enjoying this moment. What to do with the time? I figured a little self-re-invention is in order and thus the 30 day experiment was born. And since I'm doing some work on the inside, I figured I'd do some to outside as well.

This has manifested most notably in more adventurous fashion choices. Legwarmers, vintage handbags, ties, and large jewelry have been my accessories of choice lately. But, while the combinations are new, these choices themselves aren't challenging. I feel great when I wear them, but I don't feel like I'm testing myself by wearing them. For example, I thought I'd try something a little more professional-looking without losing the funkiness of my usual style. This is actually much trickier than what I normally choose to wear, both in design and in accompanying mental shift.

Yes, it's true what thousands of black women and gay men have said before me, "Girl, you have to own that outfit!" The ability to "own it" always starts in your head, and what occured to me is that I feel like a fraud when I'm dressed up to go to the office. In the same way that women often say, "I wish I could wear (insert style here) clothes, but I just can't carry it off." There's nothing really stopping them from wearing it, other than the feeling of costume that accompanies it. So, I guess my task is, since I value flexibility in myself and in others, is find a way to make that style my own; to put together some outfits I could conceivably wear to interviews without feeling like I'm sacrificing anything. After all, I enjoy marking my difference. As a biracial woman it's plenty visible without it, but it makes me feel more comfortable, as if I'm working with my otheredness instead of fighting it. So, to that end, I'm stretching myself by trying different styles of clothing, and although it's not one clear cut thing to itemize on my list, it is a part of the project.

Wish me luck...and digital camera to record the results. ;)

30 Days: Day 5.1

Hours later...I found something new! A few folks grabbed some drinks after work and congratulations to me, I've found new drinking buddies.

After a night of 20+ minute ticket times, we headed to Rocky's (sweet, uncomplicated Rocky's) wearing the plumage of the SB serving crew. We traded gossip, opinions, and generally bitched about working for the SB, and although rather uneventful (except for the discovery of the world's strongest drink that had even the bartender, who's known for a strong pour, commenting on the insanity of the cocktail), it was a nice end to a crazy weekend.

Viva las coworkers!

30 Days: Day 5

Sunday...what to do on Sunday? All the art galleries are closed and I work this afternoon. Maybe a new coffeeshop? There are only so many and I've already been to all of them. And I need something free...

Well, it's early and I'm still looking, but until then...I present one of the funniest websites I've ever seen, and spotted for the first time today (so technically a new thing. Hey! I said I'm still looking.):

Black People Love Us. com

Because two white folks are proud of not being racist. Enjoy.

30 Days: Day 4

It's a small new thing, but one I'd like to repeat this time. I broke my first $100 night at the SB! Yes, that's right kids, P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude) helped me make slightly more money than normal. But, if I can somehow manage to keep it up, I'll have an income I can live on...yippee! Keep your fingers crossed.

30 Days: Day Two-Day Three

Well, well, well. I'm at a crossroads. Sometimes you have to decide what you will and will not divulge in your blog. But, if I'm going to write about this 30 day adventure, then I'd better tell all.

Day Two was chock full of new things and lots of old ones too. I started the morning at a local coffeehouse for a cup of joe and a muffin. I've been going there in the mornings before work, and I have say it's a great way to start the day. It helps me relax and feel like my entire life isn't just work and home. Plus, there's the caffeine.

Much later Tom stopped by to pick me up for our day of adventure. We'd decided to park at his house and then walk to the art museum. Then maybe wander down to a coffeeshop and hang out. We thought we might even make it to Mutz for $5 pitcher night. It was a good plan and a different one. Anyone who knows Toledo knows that public transport sucks and almost everyone has a car, so walking? Downtown? Crazy. But it was great because it was a terrific day, not too cold, blue skies and we noticed so many new things. The art relief of stylized grecian women pouring out urns was my favorite. It's amazing the buildings with cool architectural details here, but no one around to use them. Tom's favorite was Joe Computer, which may also have been the creepiest mannequin ever to grace this fair earth. It was part of an old display for a Old Newboys Assoc and apparently had been there for about 20 years. Those faded pink pants had been red at one time and I'm pretty the sure the Cosby sweater she was wearing was fashionable at that same time. Her jaw had fallen off (or been sawed off...the edges *were* rather clean...) and then bolted back into place. A lot. She was wearing a badge of merit with a ribbon: Joe Computer. Definitely a winner.

But neither of these things is the highlight of the evening nor the adventure of Day Three. For that we must fast forward past Easy Street where we had our first cocktails in lieu of coffee, past $5 pitcher night at Mutz, past me drunkenly hitting on old friends who look mysteriously like old boyfriends (And that opened yet another can of worms...did I date that guy because he looked like a friend I'd had a crush on? Is it a Russ/Ross scenario?), past even the last minute, close-the-bar run to Ripcord, where I was fed shots despite my keen desire to go home. One would stop that tape right on the drive home. As I leaned out the car to vomit everywhere, who should show up but the cops. Arresting my friend Matt for driving under the influence, and allowing me a nice brisk walk home at 3am. I was right around the corner from my house, and I'd rather have that then the flashing lights of the cops dropping me off.

So all in all, I can say that the walking downtown was a great adventure for Day Two, but as night rolled into the next morning, Day Three had taken a turn. Being pulled over and talking to a cop while wiping vomit from my face was another first. Let's hope that's also the last. Here's to the adventure of Day Four...

30 Days of Change: Day One

I've been pretty bored lately and I've pondered the idea that a place isn't boring, the bored person is. I'm not sure if I agree with that, but I figured there are some things I could do while I'm in Toledo that might make my life more interesting. So I decided that I would do one new thing everyday for 30 days and see what happens. Now, since I'm still financially strapped, most of these things should be free/cheap, but luckily I've got my buddy the City Paper to help me find those events. Day one was Wednesday, so I got my hot little hands on a copy of this week's edition and devised a plan...

Day One: I had to work in the morning, but I had the evening free and the next morning off, so I had lots of options (including beer!). Most of my friends have different schedules than I do, so I'm by myself on most days off. This is an integral part of enjoying myself and my time more here. There have been more than a few times that I couldn't find anyone to go out with, so I stayed at home. This usually happens at night, because until recently I'd never been to a bar by myself, with no one coming to meet me. Anyway, it's one of the things I'm out to correct. So I've been running around town by myself more, enjoying my time alone more...usually. But this first mission was a good mission.

I found myself at the Barnes & Noble seeing Ashton Allen play in the music section. I chose this because it was a twofer. I'd never seen Ashton, nor had I ever seen anyone play in corporateville. Now, some seem to think this doesn't sound weird. And I will grant them that it was cool and I would go again for another free show, but it must also be said that listening to this guy sing John-Mayer-esque songs of love and heartbreak was a little weird under the all-too-bright glow of flourescent bulbs, with his guitar, mic stand, and piano tucked neatly between the hip-hop and classical sections. But it was especially weird when the store's manager got on the horn saying "Attention Barnes & Noble shoppers. We'd like to direct your attention..."

One interesting thing I learned about live music and small shows, is that if the music is intensely personal (and it almost always is, I mean, even Wally Pleasant sings some love songs) I can't look at the singer's face. I had a hard time making eye contact that's for sure. It just felt rude, like I was crawling into a private moment to take a look around. There were only 20-25 people sitting/standing there, and the lights were so bright, it was very intimate although shockingly lit. And perhaps more so because of the lighting. Everyone could see what was happening on everyone else's face.

Anyway, the music was damn good, even though that tour is potentially killing the man. He was losing his voice to a cold that day, it was his second show of the day, his 39th of the tour, and they'd been on tour since like the 8th or 9th. Dude. But, if that's the quality of free show I'm gonna get at the B&N, well corporateville be damned, I'll be back...but maybe I'll special order my copy of the music from Culture Clash Records.

All and all a good first run. If you have any ideas about free/cheap events let me know.

Writer's Block

It's horrible. I've got nothing to say. I'm blocked.

Otherwise, the new job at SB continues. Is it a bad sign that you dream you've been fired, then wake up singing show tunes only to have the happiest day you can recall in recent times?

Think need to leave the SB.

Delinquency: It's a New Year

Sorry for being delinquent folks. I've been readjusting to life at home and trying like hell to beat the damn writer's block I've got going. So far no luck and the clock is ticking (already missed a boatload of grad school application deadlines)...It's keeping me up nights.

My New Job, the Cult

Being back in town means I'm dead broke and therefore need a job, and how. I managed to score a serving gig at restaurant in town serving massive plates of pork and all things fatty. There are a few problems with all this.

1) I vowed never to serve again if humanly possible. Ah, how easily we sell our souls for the greenback morsel that keeps bill collectors from scratching down the door to tear out our hearts for a snack (I haven't really adjusted to this whole corporate restaurant thing yet or the dead ass broke part either I guess...)

2) There's chanting. Oh yes, I've got their vision memorized and I can feel myself cringe whenever we're forced to scream it. I guess it's better than my last corporate serving gig. I mean, there's no dancing or singing this time.

3) The Orange People. Many unnaturally tanned women and men who hold daytime gigs at American Eagle. They're *serveriffic* in a believable way.

4) And I quote: "I can't spell...maybe I shoulda finished high school." Yeah, I'm an elitist.

5) I am currently training with a woman I taught in BG. Yes, my former student and I are now co-workers. This is a shame.

But despite all this there is a bright side. After all, I did get four free t-shirts and my very first paycheck for $16.40! Rock on.

Xmas in T-Town

Jeff came to visit his family for a whole week so we needed an obligatory day of "sight-seeing," which slowly devolved into a whirlwind tour of coffeehouses, restaurants, and plenty of bars. We were in search of a very elusive creature here in Toledo, OH: The LateTwentysomething. We hunted across town from North Toledo to Westgate, from Downtown to Maumee, finally settling near the Old West End. Nobody seemed to be anywhere. They were all spread out among the various bars in the area, never congregating in one place. Apparently the restaurants were feeling it too, the lack of the LateTwentysomething, when Jeff overhead a manager proclaim to a server, "Why can't we get more people like those?" Seeing as there were only 5 other people in the restaurant and not a one of them was in our dining area, you'd think he might just settle for the "more people" part all on it's own.

Just when we were getting ready to call it quits and take our show on the road to Ann Arbor, we found a pocket of this mysterious creatures at a new bar. Not only had we stumbled onto a party, but we had run smack into the center of an old friend's party, a friend we hadn't seen since the last days of college. It was revitalizing to know that somewhere in the sprawling metropolis that is Toledo, there still beats the nightlife of the single LateTwentysomething. Now if I could just track its next move...