Nearly 13 months
I quit smoking just over a year ago, and so far so good. I haven't had one since I quit and usually don't want to smoke (with the exception of late nights at the bar), until, that is, I start thinking about the romance of it. Listening to neuva bossa nova with a cocktail in a sundrenched minimalist room, or hanging out in a coffeeshop watching the world walk by always brings out the desire for tobacco. These images form the last attachment I have to smoking. Sure, in all other meaningful ways I've lived and accepted myself as a non-smoker. It's only in the moments of imagining myself in some European locale that I wish I could be a social smoker, picking up and dropping the habit with ease.
Is it a problem that in my idealized picture of myself, I'm always smoking? How can I alter that imagery to incorporate a non-smoking ideal self. How do I let go of the romance of tobacco? Any suggestions?
Maybe I could start remembering the way my lungs felt after an evening of cocktails and cigarettes...
Is it a problem that in my idealized picture of myself, I'm always smoking? How can I alter that imagery to incorporate a non-smoking ideal self. How do I let go of the romance of tobacco? Any suggestions?
Maybe I could start remembering the way my lungs felt after an evening of cocktails and cigarettes...
posted by CJ at 8:14 AM
5 Comments:
Believe it or not, a part of that idealised vision of yourself smoking is likely to be nicotine withdrawal. Symptoms can last for well over a year, and usually do. They are also very subtle, and the mind can do wonders interpreting a physical craving it doesnt even necessarily know it possesses.
The other part, of course, is the mental habituation of liking doing something, a low level mental addiction. Every time I see someone in a film or on TV drinking a beer my mouth waters, and I start wondering what the quickest way to get myself one would be.
-e
I usually think of it as a psychological addiction on my part, since that part is hardest part to get over, generally speaking, or at least the longest lasting in my case. I have been hanging out with mostly smokers lately, since it appears that most young people in Toledo smoke and almost all of my friends do. Does second-hand smoke contain nicotine? I could be feeding a physical addiction without even knowing it. I should track how often I idealize smoking and see how quickly it follows a night in a smoky bar. A couple of days later could indicate that the trace amounts are leaving my body and the idealization is then a response to a physical craving. Hmmm...thanks for the thought.
Again, I stress, as this is not widely known and also quite hard to believe, that the brains addiction to nicotine ALWAYS lingers for an exceptionlly long period of time. It has the longest physical withdrawal period of any addictive chemical known to man- heroin and alcohol you can kick in a week or two (hard weeks but, and with potentially fatal symptoms, esp. with alcohol), nicotine lingers in the system for years. Thats Years. This is one of the things that makes smoking so hard to give up, and accounts for qutting smokers having the worst fall back rate of any addicts, of anything you can be addicted to. The psychological addiction must also be stressed, but you have to recognise that the synapses in your brain still think they require nicotine, even after 13 months, which is what withdrawal cravings are.
Second hand smoke does indeed contain nicotine, and will probably contribute to the craving harder to stand. I know it is impossible to have a life and not be around smokers, so you may just have to struggle with the cravings, and keep reminding yourself why you gave up- probably because smoking WILL kill you if you dont (barring being hit by a bus/bomb blast/lightning).
Of course, there is nothing wrong with being addicted to nicotine, as long as you dont mind being a drug addict and feeling compelled to do something even against your will. Its smoking tobacco that is bad for you. You could always just feed the addiction with patches or gum or some shit. But that would probably make the craving to light one up harder to deal with in the long run.
-e
I'm not sure if it could be addiction (because I quit smoking in 1995), but I still miss cigarettes and beer, cigarettes and coffee, and the whole gesticulating with a lit cigarette thing.
Of course, now I do cigars occasionally. The physical movements are better, and I can't get addicted...because if I have more than one a week, my stomach starts to act funny.
I have quit, smoked, quit, smoked, for something like 9 years, quiting on occasion for over a year, just to get stressed out or just *want* it and then smoke again. It's tough. But cheers to you for quitting for real.
Here is one thing that I definitely liked about quitting: going to the gym felt a lot more awesome because I knew that I was being healthy inside and out, taking care of myself the way that my body deserves. If you put yourself into those sorts of situations (real or visualised) perhaps it will help?? Think about hiking up a big mountain instead of hanging out at a coffee shop, because crap, the LAST thing I ever want is a cigarette when I'm trying to walk up a hill...
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